


Puff, Puff, Pass

by Ladytalon



Category: Borderlands (Video Games)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Anal Sex, Dirty Talk, Explicit Sexual Content, Foursome - M/M/M/M, Gangbang, Horny Teenagers, Humor, M/M, No Incest, Oral Sex, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Spitroasting, a fun time is had by all, pre-game
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-15
Updated: 2018-02-15
Packaged: 2019-03-19 01:41:09
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,234
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13694232
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ladytalon/pseuds/Ladytalon
Summary: Faced with an unexpected night off, the Blanco triplets decide to pay a visit to the Middle of Nowhere bounty board...and the young man who maintains it.





	Puff, Puff, Pass

**Author's Note:**

> Sorry!

"What're we gonna do today?" Ned yawns, rolling over to look up at his brother. Ted is still flaked out on the top of the water tower with an arm flung over his eyes. "Wanna go to Haven?"

"Eh, I need t'stay outta there for at least a week after that thing with Mick."

Ned groans and pushes himself up on his elbows. "Dammit, that means the rest of us gotta stay clear, too – why'd you have t' go an' piss off a Zaford? They're worse than Hodunks for stickin' together an' they don't forget a damn thing, 'specially you sayin' you fucked their momma."

"Yeah, I guess."

"So _did_ you?"

Ted squints down at him. "Did I, what?"

"Y’know. Nail Mick Zaford's momma."

"'Course I didn't! I fucked his _gran_. You ain’t never lived ‘til you had your dick sucked by someone who don’t got no teeth to bite with…!"

They collapse in laughter, which proves to be unwise because it alerts their eldest brother to their presence. "Y'all get your asses down here _now_ ," Zed roars. "I ain't unloadin' this mess all by my _self_."

"C'mon down, boys," their father calls up to them. "Ain't fair to leave all the work to Zed." His tone is milder, but the underlying steel in his voice serves to scrape both brothers up off of their makeshift beds. 

Zed is waiting with his hands on his hips, glaring up at them as they climb down. “Oh, take your sweet _time!_. I got all _day_.”

Ned quickly makes a rude gesture at him before their father sees and cuffs him for it. “Shoulda said if you needed help.” 

“You just love t’moan about stuff, admit it…”

“Now, boys – that’s enough,” Uriah Blanco says, folding his arms across his massive chest and looking at all three of them to make sure he’s gotten his point across. “Zed, if you want some help then you gotta speak up ‘steada lettin’ it fester.”

Zed scuffs his boots into the dirt of the street. “Yes, sir.”

“And _you_ two – try to be a li’l more responsible, will ya? There’s work t’be done right now; y’all know I’m takin’ your momma to that dance at Hollow Point, so let’s get the clinic set up so’s we can all relax later on.”

“Yessir,” Ned and Ted chorus, glancing at each other because they’d forgotten all about the fact that their parents were going to be absent. Uriah reminds them to not say anything about it to their mother because it’s meant to be a surprise, and sends them on their way. Zed only grumbles a little about having already done most of the work, but settles down quickly enough once they all get going.

They get the latest shipment of medical supplies unloaded from the trailer, and their father sends Ted to unhook it from the Outrunner while Zed makes sure everything’s in the right place. Ned is shooed into their crowded living unit to make sure their mother hasn’t caught wind of her surprise. He finds her organizing the clinic records and recording the new inventory, and goes to sit down at her feet. “Hi, Momma.”

Despite the fact that they’re almost always dressed alike and could use each other as a mirror, she’s never had any trouble telling her sons apart. “Ned,” she says with a smile, reaching out to touch her fingers to the back of his neck in a quick but loving caress. “Getting yourself into trouble again, baby?”

“Trouble finds me ‘thout me havin’ to look for it,” Ned protests. 

She smiles and tousles his hair. “Grammar.”

“Trouble finds me without me having to look for it,” he repeats himself dutifully, echoing her flattened speech patterns. “Momma, _why_ -”

“I want my boys to be able to distinguish themselves from the Hodunk clan, that’s why,” she says gently. “And all three of you know it. Zed’s a lost cause but you could do worse than to practice with Ted.”

Ned doesn’t want to tell her that the reason Ted does so well is because he wants to run off and join up with the Crimson Lance, the military branch of the Atlas Corporation, the minute they turn nineteen. She seems to have her heart set on all three of them carrying on the family business here on Pandora, even though the once-steady stream of transport shuttles has already slowed to a trickle since eridium is just too hard to mine in significant quantities. Most settlers would rather take their risks elsewhere, and Ned can’t blame them. Still, his mother is looking down at him expectantly and he doesn’t have it in his heart to break hers. A little lie won’t hurt a fly, as the saying goes. “Yes ma’am, I’ll do that.”

“You’re a sweet boy, Ned, but you’re a terrible liar. Run along and tell Uriah that we’ve been shorted two cases of needles.” She drops a kiss atop his head and goes back to work.

He scrambles to his feet and nearly hits his head on the threshold of the door on his way out. Ted is still taking his time with the trailer when Ned reports back to their father, so he goes to see when Zed will be done. “You finished yet?”

“Nearly. What were y’all laughin’ ‘bout, up there? I’ll pop you right in the eye if it was about me,” Zed threatens, but Ned knows that he doesn’t really mean it. Zed is technically the oldest, if only by a mere twenty minutes, so he likes to hang that fact over their heads whenever possible and resorts to intimidation when it’s _not_ possible. 

Ned glances over to the thick, dog-eared textbooks that Uriah has been teaching them from and curbs the familiar swell of envy upon seeing Zed’s place marker set so far ahead of his and Ted’s. “Nothin’, just we gotta keep clear of Old Haven for a while.”

“Ted?”

“Ted,” Ned confirms, grinning at the memory. “Says he fucked Granny Zaford.”

Zed’s head lifts sharply. “No friggin’ way. He did _not…!_ ”

“Can you just imagine, though? She ain’t but got one tooth in her head an’ he claims she gummed the hell outta him!” The laughter bubbles up and out of his chest and, after a startled second, Zed joins in. They’re still laughing when Ted wanders in and makes a show of pulling his lips over his teeth, which sends them into a fresh bout of hilarity.

They’re reduced to hiccuping giggles and wiping at their eyes when Ned realizes that they haven’t made plans for their unexpected night off. “Hey, what’re we doin’ later?”

“I traded Marcus for some ECHO dramas we ain’t seen yet,” Ted offers.

“Yeah, well, what’d you give him?” Zed asks suspiciously. “If you got into my stuff again…”

Ted waves at him dismissively. “It was just that pile of romance vids we’ve had for ages.”

“Aw, man – not the ones by the player,” Ned groans. “I was watchin’ those!”

“Spoiler alert: they all got married. See? Saved ya some time,” Ted says.

“C’mon, Ted…that just ain’t cool…”

Zed finally steps in with a suggestion, glancing towards the door before leaning in so that they’re not overheard. “I know what we’ll do. Remember that guy whose daddy got his arm chewed off by a midget last summer? Scrawny kid, but kinda cute?”

Ned is still irritated with having his ECHO romances confiscated. “What _about_ him?”

“Man, you are just _sick_ ,” Ted hoots. “Always the damned quiet ones. I love it. Let’s do it.”

“What? What’re we doin’?” Ned asks, looking from one brother to the other.

“We,” Zed tells them with a sly grin, “are gonna run a train on Hudson Johns.”

Once Ned gets over the initial surprise of _Zed_ suggesting something like that, he starts thinking about it. And the more he thinks about it, the more he likes it. "It's been forever since we done somethin' like that," he muses. "Wasn't it that miner's daughter last time?"

"More like the miner's _wife_ …but no, you're thinkin' of…well, maybe it _was_ the daughter," Zed says, frowning and tapping his fingers against the counter. "I dunno."

Ted laughs and gives Ned a playful shove. "We should prob'ly get Paw to check Ned for STD's – remember him bangin' that Hodunk a few months back?"

"Shut your damn _mouth_ ," Ned snarls. "You woulda done it, too."

"Difference is that I _didn't_."

"Alright, just relax," Zed interrupts. "So Ned went slummin' – we all thought about doin' it at least once. I mean, hell, you _seen_ Jimbo's new girl? What's her name…Moxxi?"

They all take a moment to think about Moxxi, and three identical sighs of yearning fill the clinic. " _Damn_ , that girl is fine as _hell_."

"I heard she already had, like, one baby already."

"So? She's still hot," Ted protests.

They drift off into their separate daydreams regarding Jimbo Hodunk's young bride, until Zed breaks them out of it with a laugh. "Hey. Ain't it funny how that clan's able to make gals lookin' like that, but then the dudes all got a face only a skag would love? What is _with_ that?"

"Natural selection's sure got a sense of humor," Ned says, sitting up as their mother comes in. "Ain't that right, Momma?"

She looks up from the invoice in her hands. "Excuse me?"

Ted slides down from his perch on one of the gurneys. "Hodunks."

"Hodunks," she sighs despairingly. "Lord have _mercy_ , but those boys are ugly!"

They laugh uproariously at this as she shakes her head in dismay, and when they’re calmed down their father sticks his head in to find out what’s so funny. That sets them all off again, and even their mother’s face is bright with laughter by the time they’ve finally settled down. “Leandra, honey, whyn’t you get on to get changed into your best? I believe there’s a dance or two you owe me.”

Ned watches her eyes widen and her cheeks flush. “Oh, Uriah; do you really mean it?”

“’Course I do, darlin’ – man’s gotta show off his girl sometimes, don’t he?”

She smiles and casts a quick glance at them. “Oh, but the _boys_ -”

“We’ll be just fine, Momma,” Zed assures her calmly. “You go have fun with Paw and I’ll watch over Ted an’ Ned, both.”

Ted scowls over at Zed, but quickly adds his encouragement. “Don’t worry about us, just go have a good time.”

 _Kiss-ass_ , Ned thinks disparagingly. “Don't show up Paw _too_ badly, now, Momma. You know how he gets.”

Leandra Blanco’s eyes are sparkling with the thought of getting away from Fyrestone with her husband to keep her company, and Ned holds his breath as she looks around at them once more before making up her mind. “Okay, boys. Keep yourselves out of trouble while your father and I are gone, do you hear me?”

“Yes, Momma,” they chorus obediently. 

Their father forks his fingers at his eyes and then points to each of them in clear warning, then escorts her back to get changed. Ned lets his breath out shakily. “D’you think they know we’re up to somethin’?”

“They will if you don’t keep your damn skag flaps closed,” Zed hisses. “Shut _up!_ ”

“ _You_ shut up,” Ted whispers back.

They each leap into motion, trying to show how dependable they really are by ostentatiously moving things around and cleaning spots that don’t need it, but Ned doesn’t realize how guilty it makes them look until Uriah comes back and shakes his head at them. “Don’t go makin’ no babies tonight, you three, and if you can’t be back ‘fore I bring your momma home, then I’d better have an ECHO message tellin’ me where y’all are so I know you’re safe.”

Zed abandons his effort with the broom. “Yes, sir. No babies, we got it.” He rubs at his mouth furiously, and Ted leans over to poke him in the side. “There’s a party out in Rust Commons we might go to later.”

“Well, just be careful – spiderants out there’re breedin’ like there’s no tomorrow.”

“Don’t worry, Paw, we’ll keep an eye out,” Zed promises.

“I dunno, maybe your Ma and I should just-”

“ _No_ , we’ll be just fine,” Ted says hastily. “Didn't I punch the daylights outta that skag the other day? You saw me do it; right, Paw? We can take care of ourselves.”

Uriah snorts and turns to leave. “Uh-huh. We’ll see.”

They remain on pins and needles for another hour, enduring one particularly heart-stopping moment when their mother nearly changes her mind about leaving, but the moment finally comes when their parents are driving off in the Outrunner. “I am much too young to have all that anxiety crashin’ down on me,” Ned declares. “If they turn around and come back, I’ma just shoot myself and get it over with.”

“They ain’t gonna come back,” Ted says. “But if they _do_ , then we know who’s to blame…right, Zed?”

“Wasn’t my fault. They’re definitely stayin’ away ‘til we go get us some, anyways,” Zed says confidently. “Let’s get the place locked up, get our gear, and go.”

Ned’s not so sure that their plans won’t be ruined. “How d’you know the coast is clear?”

Zed looks slightly uncomfortable. “’Cause Momma gave me a roll of condoms ‘fore she left.”

“She never gives _me_ condoms,” Ned complains.

Ted laughs. “That’s ‘cause you’re her sweet, pure baby boy who’s savin’ himself for marriage.”

“Yeah, right. Who’s in charge of lube, since Zed’s got the condoms?”

“Whyn’t _you_ do it? I know you keep a container of it handy just in case we ever get a shipment of that vegetable what looks like a dildo,” Ted teases.

Zed starts pulling the metal rolling door closed. “Dude! I ain’t never eatin’ one of those again unless I’m the one that washes it.”

“Why’re you two always pickin’ at me?” Ned huffs. “I got half a mind-”

“We know.”

“Shut _up,_ Granny Banger!”

“Whatcha gonna do, tell _Momma?_ ”

“Ted,” Zed says quietly. “That’s enough, now. Go get the car ready while we finish lockin’ up.” 

They finish their work, and Ned glances over at his brother. Everyone seems to like Zed so much more than they like him – sometimes it’s a huge pain in the ass, but sometimes Ned can’t blame them at all; Zed _is_ the best of the three. “Thanks for stickin’ up for me.”

“Lookin’ out for you is somethin’ I’ll probably be doin’ when we both got white hair,” Zed tells him. “All the same…you shouldn’t make it so easy. You got nothin’ to prove, Ned.”

“It don’t really feel like that, though,” Ned mutters.

“No, I guess it wouldn’t. Just try to remember it once in a while, wouldja? Do it for your big brother.”

“You’re only oldest by twenty minutes, so it don’t even _count_ …”

They harass each other as they walk out through the gates, pretending not to see Anatoly Kincaid trying to get their attention. Just to be on the safe side, they pick up the pace so the old man doesn’t follow them and ask them to include Marcus. Ted finally shows up, having bartered for the use of one of the neighbor’s Technicals. “How’d you get it? He wouldn’t even take five seconds to _think_ about it when _I_ asked,” Zed complains.

“I asked his husband, didn’t I? He’s old as hell, and thinks we’re cute,” Ted says. “Get in and let’s go.”

“Don’t tell me you did somethin’ with him.”

Ted laughs uproariously. “No, but he sure thinks I’m gonna!”

“That could go bad for you if he takes exception to it.” Ned grins. “I got an idea, though. Set up a meetin’ and I’ll make sure his mister shows up first. Then _you_ come in with some medical supplies like you were trying to sell ‘em. You’ll come off lookin’ as innocent as a newborn baby.”

Zed climbs into the back. “Sounds like a decent plan, but maybe we could do without needin’ a plan like that in the future.”

“You’re just mad ‘cause Ned thought of it first. Let’s go have us some _fun_ , boys!”

They drive down through the Dahl Headlands without making the usual stop to see Ernest Whitting, which is a shame since they’re all pretty good friends, but hanging out with Ernest usually turns out to be an adventure they don’t have time for at the moment. The last time they’d visited, intending only to stay for half an hour, Ernest had taken them to Treacher’s Landing where he’d heard stories of an enormous bandit-eating fish.

More than a few spiderants meet their end when Ted drives through a cluster of them despite their father’s warning, and they stop to pick up a few bottles of local brew at the watering hole closest to Middle of Nowhere. From there, it’s just a short ride to the outpost where Hudson Johns spends most of his time.

The bounty board looks like it’s almost finished, a far cry from the pile of metal and wood that’d been here the last time they’d visited. Ned stares up at the walkway, wondering if Hudson is even here, but Zed nudges him and points up at the other end of the new structure – there’s a small wooden shelter, with their quarry peeking out of the window at them. Ted pulls the truck around beneath the stairs, backing in so they’ll be able to leave quickly in case of trouble…or in case of Hudson Johns’ father, who wasn’t born yesterday. “Heya, Hud,” Zed calls out. “Mind if we come on up?”

Hudson sidles out of the building and peers down at them before nodding.

“Now, you let me talk him into it,” Zed says quietly. “You say too much too quick, and he’ll bolt…then he’ll tell his daddy, who’s gonna murder all three of us.”

“He’s only got one arm, though,” Ted protests.

“Like that shit matters ‘round here? He’ll just take a few extra whacks to even it out! Ned, you got the beer?”

Ned flicks his fingernails against the bottles to make the glass give an audible _ping!_ “Let’s do this.” He glances over at Ted, and they let Zed take the lead.

Hudson watches them walk up the stairs, giving a shy smile. “Hey, guys.”

“Your daddy around?” Zed asks despite knowing that he’s not. “Paw wanted us t’bring some beers over as thanks for helpin’ with the trailer.”

“Oh. Well, he…he’s not here,” Hudson admits.

Zed puts a hand behind his back and gestures for them to come closer. “That so? Damn, they’re gonna get warm out here…shame to waste ‘em like that.” He turns around and looks at the rest of them with a grin. “How ‘bout it, boys?”

“It _is_ mighty hot out today,” Ted says and, reaching out to take two of the bottles, passes one to Ned. Zed hands a third to Hudson and takes the last for himself. “How you been doin’, Hud?”

Hudson dips his head slightly. “Oh, I, uh. I’ve been okay. You?”

Zed moves closer. “Bounty board looks real good. There’s anything we could do to help, you just say the word.”

“I couldn’t,” Hudson says, even though he’s perked up at the mention of help. “I just couldn’t.”

“C’mon, dude – we’re all here and I know you got stuff needs doin’,” Zed says. “Tell you what. Let’s put the beer somewhere cool for now, an’ we’ll appreciate it all the more once we’re done.”

Ned doesn’t particularly feel like doing physical labor that isn't the pleasurable kind, but they’d all agreed to let Zed take the lead on this. He exchanges glances with Ted, who shrugs and gathers up the bottles so that he can take them into the small lean-to that Hudson lives in. Zed motions to Ned and drops his voice to a quiet murmur that won’t be overheard, relaying his instructions. “Don’t crowd him, but don’t stay too far away – we can get this done quick, so when we start workin’ we’ll get our shirts off like it’s just too hot with ‘em on.”

“Yeah, okay.”

“We ain’t gonna do it all at once, though.”

“I know that,” Ned says scornfully. “I ain’t stupid.”

Zed just lifts an eyebrow at him and doesn’t say a word, the shithead. Ned waits for Ted to return so they can make fun of Zed behind his back, and they all start working on finishing up the bounty board. Hudson shifts from foot to foot anxiously as he watches the brothers work, and Ned hides a smile when Zed casually pauses to strip off his shirt. “Hot out here, huh?” Hudson asks shyly, trying not to stare and failing miserably.

“You know it.” Ned waits a little longer to take his shirt off, too, and poor Hudson doesn’t know _where_ to look by the time Ted’s hits the ground. “So, uh, where’d your daddy get off to? He still haulin’ scrap out by the Salt Flats?”

Hudson peels his eyes from Zed’s biceps, which are flexing a lot more than strictly necessary. “What?”

“The scrap business,” Ned prompts. “Y’all still in that?”

“Oh. Yeah, um. Yeah.” Hudson grins sheepishly and backs up right into Ted’s bare chest, then flushes with embarrassment and scoots to one side. “Sorry about that…Ted?”

Ted drops a companionable arm over Hudson’s shoulders and gives their friend a gentle shake. “Got it in one, man. Ain’t a lot around who can tell us apart.”

Hudson’s blush deepens. “I just guessed, is all.”

Zed finishes attaching the ECHO-interface and drops his tools back in the box, drawing an arm across his forehead. “Pretty damned good guess then, Hud. Let’s go get those beers, huh?”

Ted drops his arm after giving Hudson another friendly squeeze, and Ned makes sure to accidentally-on-purpose brush up against Hudson on his way past. “I call the coldest one!”

“They’re all gonna be the same temperature, dumbass.”

“One’s bound t’be colder’n the rest, so that’s the one I’m gettin’.” Ned scowls at Ted and gives his brother a shove. “Hudson, what d’you think?”

“Oh, I don’t rightly know,” Hudson says, just as meek as can be. “Depends on how the bottles are settled, I guess.”

They argue all the way across the rickety bridge, where Ned claims victory upon seeing that the bottles are in a small cluster on the table. “See? I told all of y’all!”

Zed wraps his hand around each bottle in quick succession, and hands over one of them. “There y’are.” He passes the rest of them out, and for a few minutes the only sounds in the lean-to are the hissing of bottles being opened and the gurgle of liquid through the bottlenecks. Zed looks at them and makes a slight gesture as he lowers his beer. “Must get lonely here with just your daddy for company.”

Hudson shrugs. “It’s okay. Never was much for conversation, anyways.”

“How often you get to Haven?” Zed asks.

“I dunno, maybe once every three months? I guess you boys go a lot more often,” Hudson says, sounding envious despite having just stated that solitude suits him perfectly well.

Ted clears his throat, but Zed holds up a hand to stop their brother from talking. “We get out there pretty often, sure. Lots of fights in Haven, folks needin’ sewn up and the like.”

“Pop always says I should stay out of trouble,” Hudson confesses. “Thinks I’d get taken advantage of. Not much fun to be had around here, that’s for sure,” he continues, and Ned exchanges glances with Ted. 

They’ve got him now, and all three of them know it. “That don’t sound too fair,” Zed says slowly. “Man’s gotta blow off some steam once in a while. What if you could make your _own_ fun? Don’t need t’go nowhere else for it.”

Hudson blinks. “You mean, like….racing? And stuff?”

“Yeah,” Zed tells him, setting his bottle down and moving closer. “And stuff.”

“Oh,” Hudson says faintly, eyes darting every which way as if to make sure that they’re not all going to charge him at once. He finally settles on staring up at Zed, who’s still sliding up to him as if Hudson’s going to spook at any moment. “What….what stuff…?”

Zed reaches out to pluck the beer bottle from Hudson’s hand and sets it aside, then brings a hand up to brush his thumb over Hudson’s lower lip. Ned would laugh, if it weren’t so damned impressive – no wonder all the new arrivals go for Zed first. “I think you know, sweet thing,” Zed purrs, leaning in slow. “How ‘bout it, Hud? You wanna have some fun?”

The poor kid looks ready to cream his jeans right then and there. “Oh,” Hudson says, swallowing so loudly it’s a wonder that the sound doesn’t bring Big Daddy Johns running with a shotgun. “With, uh, with…with _all_ of you?”

“Don’t you worry none,” Zed continues, “We’re gonna give you the time of your goddamn life.” He finally goes in for a kiss, and Hudson melts into it like it’s what he’s been waiting for ever since he was born.

Ned looks over at Ted and raises his eyebrows. “You believe this shit?” he mutters. All this time he’d _never_ thought Zed was as slick as this. “I gotta up my game, man.”

“I call dibs on his mouth,” is all Ted, that hopeless romantic, says back to him.

“You can’t call _dibs_ , you dirty bastard,” Ned whispers fiercely. “ _I_ get the-”

Zed breaks into their low-voiced conversation. “Will y’all get over here an’ _help_ me ‘steada just sittin’ there! Sorry, Hud; these boys got no dang manners at _all_.”

For his part, Hudson doesn’t seem like he’s taken notice of anything but what’s in Zed’s drawers. “Huh?”

“I said, whyn’t we make ourselves a bit more comfortable.” Zed gestures behind the other young man’s back, and they close in on Hudson like they’re Cult of the Vault and he’s their willing sacrifice. With both brothers sandwiching Hudson in from the front and back, Ned’s only option is to move in from the side. He reaches in to unbutton Hudson’s shirt and eases it off, then slides a hand down to massage the growing bulge in Hudson’s jeans.

Hudson is panting and squirming as they kiss and rub against him. “I-I’ve never done…”

Ted closes his teeth on the scruff of Hudson’s neck, biting down gently. “That’s where you’re in luck, honey, ‘cause we got all _kinds_ of practice.”

“Oh,” Hudson gasps, because Ned has finally succeeded in getting that belt open and sticking his hand inside Hudson’s pants. “Oh, my.”

They each take turns kissing him so the others have a chance to get out of _their_ pants, and then there’s just cocks everywhere. Hudson doesn’t even know where to start so they do a quick game of knife-paper-rock and Ned finally comes out ahead. Literally, he thinks with a smirk as Ted guides Hudson down to a kneeling position.

Zed settles behind Hudson for a slow hump while Ted’s off to the side whispering all kinds of filth to the poor kid. Ned doesn’t give a fuck because he’s the one getting sucked off first. “Watch the teeth, Hudson; damn!”

Hudson rolls his eyes up and tries to apologize, which makes Ted laugh. “Didn’t your daddy ever teach you t’not talk with your mouth full, boy? You just get back to suckin’ that dick. Breathe through your nose so’s you don’t choke ‘cause you got two more to drain after Ned’s had his fun.”

“Jesus H! Let him get on with what he’s doin’,” Zed hisses. “You’ll give him a complex.”

Ned curls his fingers into Hudson’s hair, and begins to thrust forward. Not as much as he likes, but the others would never forgive him for ruining their chances by fucking Hudson’s mouth hard enough to make those brown eyes tear up. Ted laughs and helps out by reaching over to play with Hudson’s dick. Ned shoves in a little harder as Hudson moans around him.

All too soon, it’s time to switch places – if Hudson were more experienced, Ned would just come in his mouth and let that be that. “I say we give ol’ Hud a nice paint job when we’re ready,” he suggests. “Just like in all them ECHO vids.”

Ted snickers again and watches Hudson lick his lips eagerly as Zed circles around for a turn. “How ‘bout that, Hudson? Want us to unload all over you?” There’s another muffled, excited moan and Zed makes an appreciative noise upon feeling it. “Yeah, that’s what I thought.”

Ned takes himself in hand and pumps slowly as he watches Hudson wriggle under Ted’s keen attention while trying to pay attention to Zed’s murmured instructions. The way he’s acting, he won’t last until – “There he goes,” Ned announces as Hudson yanks his head back and claws at Zed’s hips. Ted sucks on the back of Hudson’s neck and makes the poor kid come into the palm of his hand. 

“That don’t mean you can _stop_ ,” Zed chides gently, and Hudson gives a soft moan of apology before going back to work. Ned tries not to laugh at the way Hudson looks more like a bottle-fed skag than someone sucking a dick, because nobody’s apt to think it’s all that funny. Besides, he shudders to think of what _he_ looked like his first time.

Ted switches places with Zed, and the instructions become a _lot_ more explicit – so much so that Ned has a feeling like he should wash his brother’s mouth out with soap and then clean his own ears with a few cotton swabs. Hudson seems to be into it, though, so…that’s something. 

Things really start heating up when they move Hudson over to the side and pull his mattress and blankets off onto the floor. By unspoken decree, Zed goes first and Ned leans against the wall to watch. His own cock twitches at the sight of Hudson positioned on all fours, and Ned strokes himself lazily as Zed rolls on a condom. He wouldn’t mind being the first to get in there, but he’s too impatient for that – better to have Zed lay the groundwork first so that he can reap the benefits without needing to put in too much work.

Hudson shudders and groans as Zed works him open, his voice rising into a squeal when Ted slides beneath Hudson’s hips and starts tormenting the poor guy all over again. Ned steps away from the wall and drops to his knees in front, determined not to be left out, and grasps his own dick so that he can guide it into Hudson’s mouth. Thanks to what Ted and Zed are doing to him, Hudson starts sucking frantically and Ned couldn’t be happier. He thrusts into the tight warmth created by Hudson’s hollowed cheeks and lets a hand drop down to tug at his balls. “Fuck, yeah…”

He can feel Hudson’s tongue sliding around him, which is all kinds of nice coupled with that _humming_. Ned pulls out and rubs the tip of his cock over Hudson’s spit-slickened lips, then pushes forward until he hits the back of Hudson’s throat. Murmuring an insincere apology when Hudson gags, Ned withdraws just enough to let the other young man recover. One of these days when he can get away by himself, Ned’s definitely going to find Hudson and spend an hour or two with him.

After a bit they all trade places again, except for Hudson of course, and soon the tiny lean-to is filled with the smells of sweat and sex as the Blanco triplets put Hudson through his paces. Ned finally gets his turn, waiting for Ted to finish the borderline-illegal moves he’s learned from god knows where, and grips Hudson’s hips tightly as he shoves inside. They’re all pretty much ready to blow by now, Ned thinks as he fucks the writhing hot mess that used to be shy, sweet Hudson Johns.

He leans back enough to smack his hand across that wildly jiggling ass – Hudson’s back to servicing Zed and trying to grind on Ned at the same time. Ted’s taking a breather off to one side, drinking a beer and calling out the most disgusting advice Ned thinks he’s ever heard in his life. “You need a bit more of this?” Ned asks, fucking into Hudson hard enough to make him choke on Zed’s dick. “Think he’s ready t’go.”

Ted discards the beer bottle and they maneuver a wild-eyed, begging Hudson onto his back before Ted mounts him again. “Time to let loose, boys.” Ted throws Hudson’s legs over his shoulders and braces himself before really putting his back into it. Hudson’s cries devolve into a hoarse string of _oh my god_ s, and Ned fists his own cock while he watches Ted ram Hudson into an orgasm.

Hudson’s face scrunches in helpless pleasure as he comes, his whole body jerking and straining. Ted pulls out and leans down with his right hand moving furiously after discarding the condom, groaning through clenched teeth as he sprays across Hudson’s own mess. Zed has already come on Hudson’s chest, and Ned decides to aim for that pretty face – his mouth is still hanging open as he gasps for breath, so it’s practically an invitation. He looks a lot less innocent with come smeared all over him, Ned thinks appraisingly once he’s delivered his own load on the lower part of Hudson’s face.

Those big brown eyes look up at him tiredly as Ned reaches a hand down to swipe two fingers through the warm fluid, offering it to Hudson. “Lick it up,” he suggests, ignoring Zed’s sharp look of censure.

“Make him eat the rest of it,” is Ted’s sly suggestion. “Which one of y’all dumped my beer out?” He rolls Hudson to the side just enough to slap him on the ass, then gets up. “I gotta take a piss…”

Zed settles down beside Hudson, reaching across to slap at Ned’s hand. “Wipe your damn fingers off an’ quit bein’ a freak. You doin’ okay there, Hud?”

“Think so,” Hudson says tiredly. “I don’t rightly know, and that’s the honest truth.”

Ned sighs and leaves Zed to tend to their conquest, wandering outside where Ted is leaning up against the wall. “He let you do it?” Ted asks, scratching at his stomach.

“Naw, you know how he is.” Ned glances back inside to see that Zed has taken Hudson into his arms and looks to be kissing him. “Sure hope he wiped Hud’s face off, first.”

“We should prob’ly get back in there and help,” Ted says. “Poor boy never got so much action in his wildest dreams; he’ll be so stretched out, he’s gonna whistle in the wind.”

Ned laughs and looks inside again, feeling another stab of jealousy over how Zed knows to do everything _right_. Mister Perfect. “Yeah, I guess we should.”

“You gotta hand it to Zed, though. That was an awesome idea.”

They go back in and give Hudson a group cuddle, which is pretty nice even though Ned makes sure to complain about it. Then it’s time to clean up the mess – there’s lube everywhere for some reason, so one of them must’ve gotten a knee on top of the bottle by accident. Hudson gets the Anshin needle they stashed in the glovebox of the Technical so that he can sit down without clueing his father in on what’s happened to his ass. Ted whines about picking up the used condoms until Hudson offers to do it, but Zed shuts that down right quick. 

Soon enough, it’s time to head home. Hudson’s cheeks are glowing with embarrassment by the time they each give him a goodbye kiss and promise to ECHO him sometime. Ned settles in the back beside Ted while Zed takes the wheel. “Good thing his daddy didn’t come home,” he sighs happily. “Could you just imagine?”

“He’ll be walkin’ funny tomorrow, InstaHealth or no,” Ted snickers. 

Zed glances back at them. “You leave that kid alone. Last thing he needs is y’all hittin’ him up for another ride three hours after his first time.”

“First gangbang’s always special,” Ned says with another sigh calculated to make his brothers laugh.

“No, I mean first _time_ ,” Zed clarifies. “I’ve broke in enough folks t’know when the factory settings ain’t never been messed with.”

Ted exchanges startled looks with Ned before they both start laughing. “Well, shit! We just fucked the daylights outta a goddamned unicorn,” Ted hoots. “He took to gettin’ dick like a Hodunk to his own momma!”

“That analogy could use some work. Shoulda said ‘like a Hodunk to his own _sister_ ’ – most everyone likes their momma,” Zed points out.

“Everyone don’t like their mommas much as _Hodunks_ do, an’ that’s the honest truth…you think it’s just bad luck Tector’s that fuckin’ ugly?”

They laugh about it the rest of the way home, relieved at escaping certain death and possible dismemberment at the (last remaining) hand of Johns Senior, though they do stop off for another drink and to get their alibis in line….just in case.


End file.
